August 03, 2011
Pack
Today at work was a little shitty, which is ridiculous because it was slow. But somehow disaster tried to strike. For the past two weeks I've been working the sandwich line. This doesn't make much sense to me since I only have three weeks to learn sandwiches, salads, and customer service. I couldn't tell you shit about salads or customer service so far. But whatever. I'm the trainee not the trainer and I'm growing more and more comfortable on sandwiches. I like being the stuffer. I don't mind slicing the bread, but I hate doing the mayo. Stuffing meat seems to be my forte, haha. But apparently I've been pretty good, working fast and demonstrating a sense of urgency, so they decided to put me down on the end...it's a similar position to the consolidator at Panera. I rocked at consolidating at Panera...but not so much here! It was confusing and demanding and I thought my head was going to spin off because different people were telling me different things and everything is written down and doesn't pop up on a screen and sometimes I wouldn't notice and it was just pure hell. Then other people were getting frantic and I just wanted to crawl into a hole. For a good ten minutes while working I was extremely jealous of this guy names John. He started training with me back in the kitchen and when we moved to this location he was put in the back answerings phones and helping prepare for deliveries or whatever. Why did I have to make food?! I could answer phones too, lol.
But I figured out the real problem. I may be new, but I've been working in the deli/cafe/bistro business for the past four years. Yes, some procedures are different but otherwise you work at one deli, you've worked at them all. So I think the problem was the girl who silced a mayoed the bread. She's been working there for a while but was moving so slow. Then she would hand me the bread without all of her product on it so I would have to backtrack and do that then continue stuffing and then try and consolidate it all so that my trainer could see that I understood what I was doing. Since he was pretty confident in my ability he would go off and do some other chore and I'd be stuck with girl and things just weren't working. And she never tried to help. Really, when she would actually decide to jump in she just ended up confusing me. I really wanted to take charge, but her seniority intimidated me a little bit. But there's no reason for that. After the lunch rush, they cut her and I stayed and my trainer and I discussed the things that she was doing wrong and how I should not follow her lead. so tomorrow I will do better with this little confidence boost. I really like the girl, but she's not a great working and I couldn't get into a ryhthm with her. But now I feel like I'm just trash talking her so I'll stop.
I do have one comment though. She's Muslim and this is her time of fasting. Since she's not eating properly, she hasn't been feeling very well at work. Oh, and she's pregnant. Is she supposed to be fasting while pregnant. I must admit there are other religions I know a lot more about then Islam, but I wonder if even under their beliefs if she's supposed to be fasting given her situation. I know medically, it's probably not goof since she's eating for two. I just wonder if there are excetions to fasting for the pregnant, sick, elderly, and children...
I almost wish she wasn't coming in tomorrow. She skipped out yesterday. Would it be a blessing or a set back if she did it again?
Okay, enough about work. It sucked, but it's just a means to ground my feet again. Besides, I probably will end up going to grad school with Popeguy next year. Even if I don't get into school, I think I'll still go to escape this place. It's not so bad here, but things seem so rough I just want a fresh start...sans parents for awhile. The only thing I think that would keep me here is if there was someone special. Maybe TJ could be that, but the way commitment freaks him out I highly doubt it. But you never know, right?
He still talks to me everyday. In my confusion I having been reaching out. But whenever I get off work I always have a message. It usually a brief conversation because we haven't really been texters since about the third week of dating since we spend so much time together, but at least he's showing some sort of effort. Sometimes I still don't know what to think about everything he's said. He's never treated me like a friend, and I've had enough guy friends to know the difference. So I just don't know what he's looking for with me. The things he does and the signals he send just don't match up with the way he seems to fear being in a relationship. But you know what? And this could be naive, wishful thinking, but just because he isn't ready to be in a relationship "officialy" doesn't mean I should feel rejected, does it? I mean, he does do all this nice things for me an dI love spending time with him and he invites me over all the time despite his apparent need for alone time. Let's not forget he has introduced me to all his friends and family and I know he talks about me because they say so. What kind of person acts that way with someone they just want to be friends with? Mostly I'd rather not think about it. He didn't say he wanted to be friends so I don't know why this is stuck in my head. I guess in my mind if you're not something more than you are just friends. But we both agreed that we weren't friends. I don't know. He wants to hang out this weekend. At least, he said he did without my prodding. I don't know what the boy wants. Maybe I'll bring it up one more time to fully wrap my head around the idea. Also, I don't want to open my heart up too much if he's just going to crush it. He has a lot of potential for that. I can feel my heart pouding just imagining not being with him anymore.
Then the rational side of myself reminds me that there will always be more fish in the sea.
Ack! What happened to my sence of peace?
scullerymaid at 9:24 p.m.