December 30, 2018

Happy 30 to me

I’m not even going to bother looking to see when my last entry was.

Today I turned 30! Seems bizarre. I’m a thirty year old- a real adult now (imagine me strutting around with my chest puffed out). It was a good day. Brian (he’s my fiancé now btw) and I went out to brunch, moseyed around the mall, went to dinner. I’m currently sipping champagne from Champagne for the first time. It’s tasty, but perhaps I should do a side by side comparison to really notice the difference? I think it’s smooth, but let’s remember I don’t know anything about wine. All in all, it’s been a pleasant day if not an outlandish one. I did wear a golden tiara around and that’s about as “special” as it got.

I’m a little disappointed that neither of my parents called me today. Sure, they both wished me a happy birthday on Facebook...but that makes me resent them all the more. I feel like I make such an effort to call them on birthdays and holidays and it just makes me a little sad that they didn’t. Would they remember it was my birthday if Facebook hadn’t reminded them. Probably, but I gal can’t help but wonder.

I guess we’re all meeting up tomorrow anyway. Now that Brian and I are engaged, the parents are supposed to meet. It was my dad’s idea. My mom agrees. And Brian’s parents agreed. But it just makes me nervous. Neither Brian nor I want to do it. He and I will be sitting there awkwardly between his parents and the two sets of mine. And the bunch of them are sooo different. And we all live so far apart. We’ve decided to meet in Colonial Heights, which is still an hour+ drive for everyone and I just feel guilty about it. And we’re just going to a little mom and pop Italian restaurant Iniswd to frequent as a teen. I wish we could do something nicer, some place more suitable for an engagement party. Honestly, I’d like to invite more people, too. That way the attention will be on us but everyone can distract themselves with each other; it could be more mingle-y and less of the interrogation I’m anticipating. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t want to play hostess at this restaurant and between Brian and I, I’m technically the chattier one. Bleh and ugh.

Fortunately, I have the excuse of having to work tomorrow night so at least we’re just doing a lunch and I have to leave by a certain time to get all the way back to the Hampton Roads area. Why am I dreading this so much?

I’m other news, I’m still
Enjoying grad school, though recently I’ve been feeling rather stressed. I think it’s just the double stress of grad school combined with wedding planning. And I’ll be teaching freshman composition this upcoming triple stress? I’m both excited and terrified about teaching. I guess this will really tell me whether or not I’m meant for academia. Everyone things I’ll be a great instructor, so that’s both comforting and promising. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just nerves nerves nerves.

And wedding planning is the worst. I don’t recommend it. This is mostly because of money. It’s just so silly to spend so much money on one single day and we’re doing our best to cut corners. We’re getting married at Brian’s parents’ house. But since it’s outside, we’ve been advised to rent a tent which we’re doing and which is expensive. And everything is expensive. Catering is expensive. The photographer is expensive. Apparently, DJs are expensive, too. Plus we ended up inviting so many people. Mostly family, but we both have very large families and everyone expects to be invited and our small wedding quickly doubled. So here we are four months out with so little done. But it’ll be fine. And just so happy to be marring Brian. And I can’t wait for all this planning to be over with.

scullerymaid at 11:34 p.m.

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