May 01, 2011
Not good enough
Today me and dad got into it. I went home to help mom pack up her stuff and she asked if I was graduating with honors. Ha, I wish! Then my dad would not drop the issue about why I didn't do better in school.
I was so angry. You know, in high school I had no life. I went to school and I returned home. I did all my work and made sure it was turned in on time. I was almost a straight A student. I graduated with a 4.7 GPA and was 22nd in my class of 500. But that wasn't good enough. If I brought home a B, my dad always wanted to know why it wasn't an A. Now he's repeating that in college. It doesn't matter that I'm the first person in the family to graduate from college. It doesn't matter that I went and did my work and will have a degree in two weeks time when I walk across that stage. This accomplishment means nothing. The real question is...why am I not graduating with honors. Are you freaking kidding me?!
Well, here's my answer. I stepped outside of my shell and socialized. I got a job, which sometimes made it hard to focus on school. But without that job, I would have been out on the streets. In fact, for half my junior year I was homeless and slept on someone's floor every night. Then senior year I spent half a semester commuting back and forth between fucking Petersburg and Newport News. Forgive me if during these rocky times my grades suffered a little. Forgive me for not making sure that I made no C's in my college career. Forgive me for not having parents that can support me like the parents my peers have. Forgive me for having to grow up and be independent and take care of everything on my own.
Sorry, dad, that my accomplishments are not good enough for you. They weren't good enough when I was at the top of the game, and they aren't now that I've lowered my standards a little. It's not like I'm barely passing college. I still have a good GPA. I can still get into grad school if I choose to go. And that's just my overall GPA. My Spanish GPA (you know, in the subject I speacialized in) is pretty damn sweet if I do say so myself.
But that's my father for you. My brother has basically dropped out of high school and I'm about to fucking graduate from COLLEGE. This really pisses me off.
You know, in high school I was very proud of my grades. My my proudest achievement was being a stage manager for all the plays my senior year. My dad did theater in high school too. Did he show up to any of my shows? Not one. But he was at every game when my brother played football. I don't understand this way of thinking here...
But whatever. I'M GRADUATING! Then moving out and getting a place with SB. I can't wait!!!!
scullerymaid at 12:15 a.m.