January 30, 2011
Determination, YES!
Okay, after my little rant I feel a lot better. I watched some tv and cooled down. There's no point in getting worked up over a boy. None. He's just a boy. There will be other boys. I think the only reason it even bothers me is because of that booty call statement Snortgiggles made. But I have to remember that just because she's always a booty call doesn't mean I have to let her bring me down. Let her be satisfied with her own thoughts and calls, right? Maybe Zach and I will only ever have a sexual relationship, but at least it wasn't just a one night stand. At least I gained a little more experience through him, which is what I was looking for in the first place. Yes, I do have potential feelings...but there's no reason to worry about those either. the problem is I let people get inside my head and I started looking at all these little details that didn't matter to me from the beginning. In the beginning, I didn't mind the idea of a fuck buddy to kind of put me out there in the market- to see what all the fuss was about, haha. Perhaps I'm just his booty call, but let's not forget that he's mine too. I think I've initiated it more than he has. I even put the moves on him before he put them on me.
Shame on me for letting Snortgiggles bring down my confidence! So what am I going to do? Take things day by day like I had been doing and go work on losing 40 more pounds to reach my ideal weight. I'm telling you, this summer is going to be my summer! I'm going to be lean and toned and wear whatever I want to wear. I'll even start walking around naked! Okay, not really haha. But I will be rocking that green bikini this summer. Just wait and see :-D
scullerymaid at 9:51 a.m.