May 11, 2010
Better or not
I don't know if I want to be the better person. I spend so much time trying to fix things and make sure everyone is happy. Why doesn't anyone try to make sure I'm happy? Does it not matter if I decided to leave? I'm very disappointed with Bonadio and the more time I see her spending time and making plans with Popeguy, the angrier I become. Why did she push me out the way she did? And how convenient that she knew how to provoke me so it all looks like my fault. Sneaky Sneaky. I don't have it in me to try anymore if she's not going to lift a finger in return. How stupid!
But at least Popeguy and I are good. We have this clean slate thing going on and I'm enjoying it immensely. I've even chosen to ignore the fact that the two of them don't invite me to hang out. Almost ignored, anyway. I suppose people don't stay together forever anyway. I'm going to enjoy the time I have with him while I can. I wouldn't bat an eyelash if Bonadio didn't get accepted into Canada with him, though.
I know, I know. Bad Tiger Lily!
I've been going to the gym again. And it's great. Five days a week! Not bad if I do say so myself. and I'm not ashamed to admit that today I learned I have stronger abs than Artist...although she is like half my size. It made me a little proud to wipe the floor with her on that one machine this morning. You know, when I was younger my mom used to tell me that I was big-boned. That if I lost my weight, I'd only want to go down to a size 14. Maybe 12. But since loosing weight, I've discovered that my bones aren't big at all! Right now I have a pair of 16 jeans I can squeeze into and I still have a good amount of weight to loose. I have a small frame...it's just been hidden all these years. And I'm very excited to uncover it. I have a year before graduation. My goal is to loose at least 50 lbs by then. Hopefully more!
This time I'll go to the gym during the semester as well.
scullerymaid at 4:25 p.m.