May 08, 2010
What's in a dream
For some reason I've been looking into the University of Montana. I've never once thought of even visiting Montana! Then I started reading this book that takes place there and all of a sudden I'm researching grad schools. How ridiculous of me. The only problem is finding a master's program I like. I think I've decided I don't want to master in Spanish. Don't get me wrong- I love the language. But I don't want to be a translator or interpreter and teaching has never appealed to me. So what's left? I thought about doing Art History, but it's kinda complicated. I think if I wanted a master's I should have gotten the bachelor's first. Then there's History, but I'm really trying to find something that does not require a GRE. I'm fighting not to take it, by golly! My dream would be to master in NAS (Native American Studies). At the University of Montana they have a BA...but no graduate programs as of yet. Bummer! What a great way to learn about my people, right? If I end up attending, I will be taking NAS electives! Anyway, so now my option is, believe it or not, Creative Writing. I wouldn't have to take the GRE. I don't need a bachelor's in English. I don't have to submit some grad research paper. Just some samples of my writing. Easy enough! Maybe they'll be impressed if I submit writings in both Spanish and English, haha.
I don't know. Honestly, I haven't discovered my passion and have no idea what I want to do as a career and that petrifies me. Shouldn't I have some wisp of an idea by now, some sort of generalization? But I keep drawing blanks. Half the time I don't even think I want to go to grad school, but isn't that supposed to give me more out of life? You know, further my education and bump up my salary. Will that help make my life fulfilling? Truth be told, I'm eyeing Montana because it looks peaceful. It seems to me like a place where I can enjoy the wilderness, take on the sky, and calm my restless spirit. Hell, maybe snag myself a native warrior if that's what the world has planned for me. I'm not living up to my potential. Maybe I'll find it in Missoula. All alone like a fresh start. I don't know if I like fresh starts or not. I don't know if I want to leave the safety of Virginia. I don't know if I want to let go of Popeguy. Sometimes I was as immortal as a werewolf. Then the pressures of time wouldn't stress me out. I could get 10 degrees if I wanted and work a bushel full of different jobs without batting an eye. But being mortal I, there's only this one life I have to do it right. And I want to do it to the fullest!
I just don't know what full means right now. Ha! Maybe I'll become a well-known author and my picture and biography will be posted on the back cover: Tiger Lily received her Master's Degree in Creative Writing at UMT(?) and resides in the backwoods of Montana with her husband and bundle of children. She enjoys chai tea and researching creatures that go bump in the night.
What do you think?
scullerymaid at 8:19 p.m.