December 20, 2009
Stuck in the driveway
I've come to the realization that I don't like snow. Well, that's not completely true. I like snow in theory. The idea of snowmen and white Christmases and all that sounds wonderful. But after one day, I'm ready for it to go. I'm cold, my car won't start, and I'm just ready for summer again. As much as I love the holiday season, I'm looking forward to my warm relaxing cruise to the bahamas. Mmm, sipping mimosas under a blazing sun. Much better than being curled up on my bed with freezing toes!
And yes, my car won't start. I know it's battery related, but I don't know exactly what is wrong. I just had it recently charged! It worked fine yesterday. I think it's the snow. Poor Amalthea was practically burried. I don't know though. Figure it out when I go home for Christmas I suppose. If I can get home that is.
Oh, and I don't think Loca is pregnant. I think she's been hurt. There's some fluid in her tail, which is obviously why she won't let me pick her up. She's hurt! Unfortunately, I don't have the funds to take her to the vet for another week. And I don't even know how much that will cost me. Hopefully not more than $100. Less would be greatly appreciated. If I need to buy a new car battery, I surely do not need to be buying medication.
Popeguy and I had a discussion last night. I wouldn't day we got into it because we weren't really fighting. We were at Bonadio's house last night and he said right before we left my temperment changed. And it's true. I just wish he wouldn't pick up on it. It's just Bonadio's mom kept asking all these questions about the BF and my temper was starting to surge. You know, I don't care if they like him and want to know things about him. But I'm not interested. I didn't mind a few questions, but she kept bringing him back up. For God's sake, why?! How annoying!
So yeah. We talked the whole car ride home. I cried a little because I feel like our rekindling is so fresh...still new. I don't want some stupid thing to crack it. The past few months were hard for me. I doubted decisions I had made, doubted myself and who I am. But I know I'm right about him. I think a lot of it is I'm the one who maintains our relationship and it gets tiring sometimes. It would be nice if he picked up the reigns every once in a while.
He'll be leaving for Argentina soon. It hasn't hit me yet. Even when I think about it I don't really get upset. At the same time, I csan feel this emptiness starting to form. Not in that depressing way. I think it's more of a way for me not to think about his absence if that makes any sense. We've been together for almost 4 years without any separation. The idea of being separated for so long scares. But I think it will be a good thing for us. A way to find our grouding again. And with him gone, I don't have to have any contact with the BF. Oh yeah baby!
I feel like a lot more has been going on. I always mean to write it down, but never do. I miss updating. This is my life I'm cronicling. I want to be able to look back and see what happened thoughout the years. God knows I have a horrible memory. I don't even remember what I did yesterday. For most of today I couldn't figure out what day it was. So this here, is for me. For me to never forget who am and how I became that person.
One more thing...I turn 21 in ten days! I've never thought about my 21st birthday before. It's never seemed as exciting as 13 or 16. Becoming a teenager and being able to drive a car are big deals. But suddenly, I'm excited. In ten days I will hit that final milestone before 30 (kinda scary...30!). And of course, I'll be able to buy alcohol. I have no idea what my first (legal) drink will be. But I'm sure it's going to be one hell of a night if my friends have anything to do with it.
scullerymaid at 10:13 p.m.