June 10, 2009
Never date a chris
It was a ritualistic burning. The three of them- Mandy, Ian, and Tiger Lily- were on the back porch. The evening was cool, the moon full and bright above them. Tiger Lily admired it, feeling the power this night held, a primal energy she seemed to feel in her very bones. She was sitting Indian style next to the ash tray, a giant green dome they had stolen from work to use for disgarded ciagarettes. There was no sense in littering a perfectly nice yard with butts. Mandy sat next to her surrounded by a pile of old photos and notes. One glance at the forgotten shoe box at her side and Tiger Lily had realized what was happening.
"You don't have to stay out here if you don't want to." Mandy had said moments after asking her to step outside. They both knew Mandy wanted her to stay, to witness, to support...
"I'm fine. This is important." She settled herself, ready to sit for a while, and watched as the first photo was lit and placed into the flames. One by one they went in, gently catching fire and burning until there was nothing left to burn. She listened as Mandy performed the ritual, ridding herself of old memories not world remembering.
"This is for making me believe you were the only one for me. This is for making me think I was crazy. This is for making me afraid..." It went on until there were no more photos left to burn. Tiger Lily had snagged one, ripping it into tiny pieces before tossing it into the fire herself. A silent curse fell from her lips, not wishing the boy heartache, but hoping he would know what he had done to her friend and feel some sense of remorse. Not that it really mattered. But she felt she needed to play some part.
Next came the notes, letters, and drawings. Mandy went through them one by one, sorting through the ones to burn and the ones to hold onto. Some things should be remembered. All the while Tiger Lily watched, pondering about love and how it can change. Though she had never been in love, not really, she had witnessed it numerous times. Mandy had loved this boy she was burning. Now she loved Ian. She used to think she would be with him forever. Now she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Ian. How does that work? How can you love someone and then not love them? How can people say they love you, then treat you like crap, abuse you?
Recently Tiger Lily had had troubles with someone she did love, her best friend. She imagined one day gathering all his photos and tossing them in a fire. Shivers ran up her spine and then back down for such thoughts. Yet she could clearly see it, a picture of the two of them. His smile was big, his eyes full of warmth for her. Then she pictured herself next to the fire, that photo in her hand. She saw that tender face staring up at her and it made her want to cry because she couldn't remember what that tenderness looked like outside a photo. So her imagination tossed it into the fire.
Flames flew into the air and Tiger Lily imerged from her dark thoughts. The paper wasn't fueling the fire very well so Ian had squirted Zippo fluid into the crumpling black mess. Where he had stood at the far end of the porch observing, he now stood next to the two girls, keeping the fire alive until the last piece of paper was burned.
Mandy gathered the rest and put them back into the shoe box, knowing someday she would have to go through it again. Tiger Lily wanted to hug her, but that wasn't really their style. Plus she felt it was time to leave Mandy and Ian alone. It's not everyday a boyfriend witnesses as you banish an ex from your life.
So she went back to the kitchen where she could ponder a little while longer, just her and the dishes.
scullerymaid at 10:32 p.m.