July 07, 2008
The biggest jerk
Sigh...
When I'm angry, I don't make the best decisions. And in my mind I know it's the wrong decision, but at the same time I'm too mad to not do it. I've been very cold towards Popeguy. This morning I went to the apartment to get some of my things and left without a goodbye. And I feel bad about it. I really do because I know I'm being the biggest jerk, but I can't help it.
And it's not the new guy. I mean, he kind of triggered my reaction I guess, but it's realy Popeguy that has made me so angry.
I feel trapped again. Like he's created this image that I must follow. If he has a new guy I'm supposed to be mad. Therefore, now I'm mad. And I don't want to be mad. But I am. I wish I could say all these things to him that are in my head, but when I try the words don't come out right. And they would hurt him. But I guess my being a jerk is hurting him too...
scullerymaid at 11:20 a.m.