November 30, 2015
Holiday thoughts
I don't know whether or not he realizes this, but Brian has invited me over to stay for the last 11 nights. Seems like a long time, doesn't it? I was a little nervous about Thanksgiving if I'm honest. About whether he would not want to see me over the weekend since we had spent the majority of the week together. Yet here I am. I don't know how he feels about it, but I like it. I thoroughly enjoy his companionship. I only hope he enjoys mine, too. One of the reasons I don't mind spending so much time together is because I don't feel like we have to be actively engaged together. He can play his game and I can watch my show and it's nice. Though, I think two people such as ourselves would benefit from a bigger place. Both being introverted and rather empathetic, I think physical space helps put a dent in our vibes. Levels them out if you will. I don't know if that makes any sense on paper, but it makes sense in my head.
Speaking of Thanksgiving, we spent it with his family and I absolutely loved it. For one, I really like his family. I'm starting to have more little conversations with his mom, which thrills me, and one of his brothers always seeks out my opinion, which both intimidates and delights me. And his dad always gives me a hug. I like family hugs.
Dinner was very good, but my favorite part was the games afterward. Brian has this games on his PS3 where we could all whip out our smartphones and play together. It was wonderful. That's what I think of when I think of family. There was laughter and jokes and a wee bit of competition and I felt right at home.
I've been feeling a little resentful of my family as of late. Of course, their door is always open, but they never actively invite us over. They don't invite us out. They don't call. They just always seem too busy. Even asking things about Christmas dinner which I've been required to attend this year seems to be a bit of a chore. So I'm just going to continue enjoying my time with Brian and his family, and see mine when I see them. I have been thinking about my mom a lot recently. I wish she were closer. I miss her all. I want her to be more involved in my life and I in hers. Maybe I'll start calling her once a week or something.
scullerymaid at 11:50 p.m.