December 29, 2015
Almost 27
I slept horribly last night. There couldn't have been an hour in the night where I didn't wake up, toss about, and try to go back to sleep. I'm sure that had to do a lot with the fact that I've picked up someone's cold- sore throat, light cough, stuffy nose. But I think it has to do more with that fact that I'm not used to sleeping alone anymore. It's strange to admit, but I spend the majority of my nights with Brian. Not every night, and that number certainly tends to rise around the holidays when we're doing a bunch of traveling together or dealing with family obligations, but I have to say that minus a night here and a night there in the week, I sleep 85% of the time in Brian's bed. I think last night was the first time I slept in my own bed in two weeks and it was...weird? Lonely? I don't know the right word, but I definitely prefer sleeping snuggled up to Brian now that I've grown so accustomed to it. But it is nice to cuddle with Pacha in my own bed while watching TV late at night.
So Christmas this year was pretty good. I really appreciated the fact that Brian agreed to go spend time with my family for the holidays. That's not really something that used to happen in my previous relationship, and it's a good thing. On Christmas Eve we traveled out to Surry to visit with Dawn's family. It was my first time out there, and they had 25 people shoved into a tiny little house. It was hot. It was a little chaotic, though less so than I had imagined. My dad prepared an Italian feast of pasta, pasta, and more pasta. The pie was excellent. Sometimes I feel funny about having this new family. Of meeting people I probably should already know or remember, wondering if they know or remember me. But they're nice people, seem to be very accepting, and I don't mind calling them family. But I really hope they do the dinner at my dad's house next year. The house itself isn't much bigger, but at least they have the yard and deck out back.
Christmas morning we went out to Suffolk to spend the dad with Brian's family. I really like visiting with Brian's family. It's a very comfortable place. His parents are nice, I finally met the last of his five siblings, and being there gives me cozy feelings. I wouldn't mind calling them family one day, too. I think both his parents liked the presents I got them, and they got me a nice dutch oven.
Actually, my kitchen made out pretty well this year. I got the dutch oven, a new spice rack, and Brian got me...a kitchen aid stand mixer! Diary, when I say I cried, I cried. I simply couldn't believe it. It was too much and I love love love it!
I don't really feel like going into all the details of presents and Christmas dinner, but I remember going to bed the other night and we both agreed it was a really nice holiday.
I also took him up to Richmond to meet Artist, and I'd say that went pretty well. I knew he would like her. And spending time with her really made me miss living closer together. I think I take for granted how much I love Artist and appreciate her friendship.
Anyway, tomorrow is my birthday. I'm going to pick up Popeguy in the morning then have lunch at my parents' house. Then who knows! We were talking about getting piercings. I've been playing around with the idea of getting my nipples done, and he wants to get his redone so maybe that will be a thing. But I'm hesitant. When Brian and I first started dating, I told him about it and he was intrigued enough by the idea. Now he's on the fence. Obviously, it's my body and I can do what I want with it, and he said that to me as well, but now that he's feeling hesitant it makes me a little hesitant. I know it's just because he doesn't like needles and he's worried about it being fresh. Maybe I'll talk it over with Popeguy. Maybe I'll just do it anyway and see what happens. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll wait. Meh, we'll see. But I think it would be fun.
Recently, I've been very pleased with mine and Brian's bedroom progress. We don't get down to it nearly as often as I would prefer, but I'm not bothered by that fact. I get so many cuddles and kisses I feel physically satiated. It's so wonderful to be with someone that I can touch. I can hold his hand and he holds mine. I can snuggle myself into the crook of his arm. He lets me fall asleep on him. It's the best blessing. But going back to the bedroom, I think it's getting better and better. I can't speak for him, but I'm more comfortable. I get naked now, so that says something. I don't know. I just really like it. I really like our relationship. Sure, sometimes I do still have shy moments about one thing or another, and then I get nervous that he'll pick up on that shyness, but I think that just stems from being allowed to grow close to someone for once. It's a new feeling. I also told him I loved him again and this time he kissed me instead of breaking up with me. I'll take it. It would be nice to one day know how he feels about me and our relationship. You know, other than him saying "good." But I'm patient. I'm committed to this. I think everything will work out just fine. Not sure if I mentioned this or not, but one night not too long ago he did say he was glad that we stayed together and didn't break up. See? Progress.
scullerymaid at 1:13 p.m.