July 11, 2011
Beastly
Do you know what I miss? Silence. I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by noise noise noise and I've forgotten how to tune it all out. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I like the country so much. Not much sound out there. Granted, my current noise troubles are coming from the televisions that my parents are watching (blasted up!) but whatever. Sometimes I think that's why I like sleeping at TJ. It's quiet and I think very few appreciate the importance of that.
SB has found a place to live. That makes me feel so relieved. I don't know where or with whom, but at least I know she'll be alright. I got to hang out with her this weekend and we did a very good job at indirectly discussing my not moving to Richmond. I'm not exactly sure how that works, but I don't think she hates me. Hope not anyway. It's amazing how quickly things can change. I value her friendship so dearly I would hate for this decision to ruin it.
Popeguy is still pushing for me to go to grad school. Everytime I see him all of our conversations somehow lead back to that. Amazing...
I've been moody all weekend and feel a little guilty about it. Times like this make me wish I did live alone that way my moods wouldn't spill into other people's lives. My poor mother just wanted to be social with me and I wanted to shut the whole world out. I hope she remembers that at 22 she probably felt the same way sometimes.
Tomorrow I'm checking out this catering job and hopefully will be submitting an application and getting hired. It's a guaranteed 40 hrs a week and no weekends. I should be able to work with that, right? As much as I don't mind Ruby's, the pay is not going to cut it...especially if mom doesn't find a job. That's mean dad and I will have to cover all expenses. Yikes, that sounds so bizarre. I pray to God next year I'll either be living on my own or in some apartment across the country with Popeguy. If romance doesn't keep me here in this area, I will follow him even if I don't get into grad school. He hasn't led me astray yet and it would be nice to get away from here completely. As much as I love my family, I feel so suffocated. I wouldn't mind going to Washington state anyway. A step closer to Montana, haha. Penn State is another choice. Hello cooler weather!
This weekend is TJ's birthday weekend so I took off work. Btw, he invited me over last night and we talked about how upset I was feeling this weekend. Here's where the communication gap comes in again because this whole time I thought maybe he was angry with me and it was putting my stomach in knots, but he wasn't and we had a nice night last night. It was very cute and I'm still confident in my relationship choice. Anyway, so I'm getting him this gift colander, right, and I'm at a loss at what to fill it up with. Then last night it hit me. He has back/bone cracking/muscle issues. I don't actually know what his problem is just that he's constantly stretching and cracking. So I'm going to make him some corn bags. I'd never heard of them either until he described to me what they were. Basically these little bags are filled with corn and you microwave them to use on your sore muscles and whatnot. Like a therapeutic press or whatever. Apparently his parents have some. He, on the other hand, does not and was thinking about borrowing them since his back has been hurting so much. So I've decided to make him his own set. I think it will be cute. Sentimental and practical all in one go. Plus, relatively cheap. I'm excited about my basket. I hope he likes it, though I know he's going to yell at me for getting him anything at all. He just wants to spend the day together landscaping lol. Too bad! I am excited to go to the nursery and pick out some bushes. Like I said, always playing house. I was also thinking about making him dinner. Sounds like a winner to me!
Speaking of boys, I just saw Bonadio's FB page...and I think she has a boyfriend! I never thought the day would come. I'm so excited for her. I know we aren't friends anymore and don't talk, but I still miss her and wish her happiness. I hope he treats her well. She seems to have disappeared and I just hope she's doing alright for herself.
Also, my cat has turned into a demon. She's decided it's acceptable to pee wherever she pleases...like my bed, laundry basket, and coffee table. WTF?! So I stuck her outside for the day, which I think was her plan from the get go. If this works out, perhaps I can 86 the kitty litter. She came back home when she was ready, but living in an apartment complex versus a house makes me scared that someone might scoop her up.
One more thing! Zach deleted me from facebook. This doesn't surprise me, but I do find it to be a little ridiculous. He always insisted that we were friends (nothing more since he was being deployed) but as soon as I stopped putting out he has this need to be all pissy and erase me from his life. Hmmm. Nothing against the military, but I think I'm done with that shit. It's just so superficial...not that I didn't play my part in that whole thing. Either way, I can't help but chuckle every time I think about it. I guess I might be mad at me too if I were in his shoes. Oh well.
scullerymaid at 11:50 p.m.