July 05, 2011
All girls allowed
My job is starting to annoy me a little bit. I enjoy being a waitress, I really do. I mean, it's a good holder/summer job, you know? And I really like everyone I work with, especially all the guys. But the pay is nothing. Over this past month I've learned that the whole focus of working is to make money. I guess that's the point of working anywhere, but it's really in your face here. Make money, make money, make money! They have this theory that the more you sell the more money you'll make. I understand this theory, but it's flawed. That only works if your guests tip by percentage...and a lot of mine must be some cheap folks because some of them will easily spend 60 bucks on dinner and leave me like 2 dollars. I may be new to this waitressing thing, but I don't suck at it and stuff like that makes me think that I really do suck. Then my tip percentage is low and I have to hear about it...which does not encourage me to want to suggestively sell things. Maybe if I sell less, my tips will appear bigger and my tip percentage will look nice. It's all so stupid.
Don't even get me started about how slow it is anyway. Saturday night I was cut after and hour and half. I had four tables. Hours like that is not going to pay my rent. It's July, my rent was due the 1st, and I don't know how I'm going to pay that yet. I was making good money my first week at this job but now things have come down. With this kind of money I'm going to have to form a better savings plan. Or hunt for a new job.
This weekend is my deadline to tell SB about me not moving to Richmond. I have very mixed feelings on it. A part of me still wants to go. Though there aren't many pros to going, I'm sure it would be fine. My family drives me crazy anyway. But hopefully in a bigger space things will settle down. Plus my brother is gone, which sadly helps. I'm just not ready to leave here yet. The job may not really be an excuse, but if Popeguy and I finally separate after this year I want to spend as much time with him as possible. Recently we've been doing dinner a lot and it's so nice. Let's not forget TJ either. I don't know how far that's going to go, but I still like him a lot and he still invites me over a lot so I guess things are strong. Wednesday he's taking me to a comedy club. I've never been to one of those before. Should be fun. And the comedian is Native American!
The thing that worries me about TJ is that I hope I'm not just getting comfortable in his life and that my feelings are more opportunistic than true. I don't thing I'm really an opportunistic person, but I've said on a few occasions how he offers everything I want- he's stable and likes the outdoors and likes me, so that's a perk. I don't know. For some reason I don't know how to trust my feelings. But I definitely have them so I need to just tell my brain to shut up. We still have things to work on. I'm more of a cuddler than he is and where I can be passionate, sometimes he's more of a lukewarm. At times I wonder if our difference are too great. But I believe that differences are what make relationships. We have similar ideals. As long as those line up, I don't think it really matters if he likes comedy and I'm more into Sci-Fi. Who cares if he has a need to constantly be doing something and I'm content sitting on the couch reading a book. There are small things like that which make me hesitant or questioning. There are times when I ask myself what are you doing here because I get frustrated over something trivial, but then it passes. I think it's funny when I get frustrated because he can totally tell. Then he starts acting all affectionate and rubs my shoulders and bumps my arm and does all these things to let me know I have his attention. Then I laugh it off. I think the real thing is I am naturally more affectionate than he is and sometimes I want the same degree of affection returned. But people display their feelings differently and I'm by no means going to end this over a kiss here and there.
My mom has come up with this idea of starting her own housecleaning business. If it kicks off, maybe I'll join her ranks.
scullerymaid at 10:39 a.m.