February 05, 2011
Will
Last night I had a pretty good date. Sure, I was a little awkward and nervous at first, but I think he was actually more nervous than I was. But after a few shots of ICE 101 (mint schnapps yum yum yum!), I loosened right on up and decided just to talk and be myself. And it was nice. We did a lot of talking, which was a nice change of pace. I didn't think we were even going to makeout- which I had no problem with. Then when things were winding down, he told me I had a gorgeous face and kissed me. And you know what? It was very nice to have him make the first move. Don't get me wrong- I'm all for putting the moves on a boy (as he learned this afternoon before I left), but I like the guy to take charge every once in awhile. And did he take charge. He was very attentive and I appreciated that greatly. He didn't want to have sex, and I found that very admirable especially since he's in the Navy. Been there, done that, and avoided it like crazy. But this boy was sweet and gentle and totally geeky. He's a beautiful contrast to Zach.
Anyway, all this dating has made me decide to finally accept my sexiness. It's so weird for me to hear these guys tell me that I'm hot and sexy and usually I shy away from it. But why? Why do I run away from my sex appeal instead of embracing it. What's wrong with looking in the mirror and finally saying- yes, I am an attractive woman!
So it is what it is. It doesn't matter that my skin is a little darker. It doesn't matter that my my tummy is a little rounder. Because I am pretty. And a head full of doubts is not a very good head to have.
scullerymaid at 11:52 p.m.