January 17, 2011
65 pounds later
I like the term pleasantly plump. It's so rare that people spin any form of being fat or chubby in a positive light, and that is why I like it when people add pleasant to the word plump.
I wouldn't mind being pleasantly plump. I have no desire to be a skinny minny, though a semi-flat stomach and firmer arms would be nice. But generally speaking, I enjoy being curvy. Of course, I may be a little too curvy right now meaning -ahem- that I'm slightly (or perhaps a little more slightly than slightly) overweight.
But as I shrink and shrink to a smaller and smaller size, there are certain things I don't want to lose. Like the fact there is actually some heft to my body. The wind is not going to blow be away like a little waif. And I do admire the, um, size of my chest. Not grand and in your face, but happily noticeable, I'm going to be a sad woman if the ladies downgrade. And though I've lost a lot of weight in my face, I hope my cheeks stay a little plump. I like having a round face. Not a fat face, mind you, a round one. But I fear that's one thing I might not be able to hold onto. I think the more weight I lose, the more oval my face becomes. I could potentially work with that though.
So as much as I love losing weight (let's count the pros: healthier, more active, never lazy, less chance of diabetes, easier for my asthma, can shop for clothes, receive boy attention, can still eat the foods I love), I do have sad moments every once in awhile about the whole ordeal. Losing weight has changed who I am, and though I wholeheartedly believe that it's for the best, sometimes I feel like I'm not only losing the weight, but a part of the identity I've had for the past 15+ years.
But I'll get over it. Though I don't mind getting down to a pleasantly plump size, I will never be fat again. As the fat kid and totally falling into the stereotype, I never realized that I actually like being active. I enjoy running and being able to lift 50lbs over my head and rolling around on my beautiful giant exercise ball. I like the way belly dancing makes my muscles burn and zumba gets my heart-rate up. All these things I avoided my whole life actually make me feel great. And they are fun, especially when done with friends. It makes me wish I had been more active growing up. I wish I had done track. I wish I had belly danced. I wish I had gotten up off the couch.
But wishing is just wishing and there is no point in wallowing in regret. Instead of wishing I was skinnier or healthier, I actually make those wishes happen. And I'm very proud of that.
Today when I went to Granny's birthday, a lot of my family members commented on my weight loss. I never take into consideration how much weight I've lost until I'm around my family. They are the ones that point out my arms are tiny, my neck is elegant, and my jeans are falling off my ass.
Hello future bikini
:-D
scullerymaid at 3:34 a.m.