August 06, 2010
Inny
I loved this little article. Why? Because I'm an introvert. You know, I've always known that I was an introvert. I mean, it's no surrpise. I'm not coming out of the introvert closet or anything. But I've never bother to dig a little deeper and actually learn what all is involved with introversion. And let me tell you, it makes a lot of sense right now.
Honestly, the random chatter of my friends drives me crazy. I don't need to know that you painted you nails or that you tipped that trash can over. I don't care if you had a busy day at work. The fact that you've been thinking about buying a new cardigan doesn't even register on my radar of important discussion topics. It's not that I don't care...it's just that I don't care. These aren't the things I have a need to voice, though I understand you don't understand why someone would rather be quiet or pensive. And sometimes the chatter doesn't bother me. But I might not feel like giving a response. It's not that I'm not listening. I just happen to be lost in my own mind and when that happens I can only manage small grunts and hums so that you know I am acknowledging the fact that you are talking to me.
When I stay cooped up in my room, it's not that I don't enjoy spending time with you. I just feel like being a lone. I want to read or fiddle on my computer or write. Hell, sometimes I just want to lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. Hundreds of things bustle through my mind a minute and I can't always sort through that and listen to you at the same time. I love you, but sometimes I crave solidarity.
You know, it's crazy how relieved reading that little article made me feel because it meant that there are other introverts out there that feel the same way. But sometimes being introverted makes me nervous. I mean, how many people out there understand this need for silence that I have. It's not that I like to be alone. Far from it. But I do need time to just be quiet. Time to think and process what's going on around me or what happened in my day. Maybe I need to think about what will happen tomorrow. I'm not a verbal person and that makes me feel awkward sometimes, but that's the way things are. I can just look myself in the mirror and say "Today you are going to hold a ten minute conversation about things you find to be trivial. Even if those things are socially normal to talk about." Yeah, I don't see the pep talk really happening.
But that's okay because I'm not a grumpy, aloof, shy person. I'm just another introvert caught up in an extraverted world
scullerymaid at 11:00 p.m.