December 05, 2009
Xibalba, wacah chan, and brickhouse
GGGGRRRRRRR AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH FUCK!
I just wrote the worse Spanish paper of my life. I'm so sad. I had this great idea...but it didn't work out as planned. To me, it just seems unorganized and I don't think my themes were completely developed. Basically, it looks like a rushed paper. And I didn't rush it! Not really anyway. I wrote it in two days instead of two hours. And yet, it's shit! Maybe my professor won't think so. I have a nice introduction and first couple pages. It's the last four that suck ass!
Also, today I feel a littler on the fat side. You know, people are constantly telling me how much weight I've lost and how good I look. And I do feel good...but I don't think I look it. My housemate took a picture of me hanging an ornament on our Christmas tree and let's just say it's not the most flattering picture. I don't know. I go to the gym and I know I'm losing weight; my clothes are looser and the scale reads a lower number. My face is a littler sharper. But in all, I don't think I look all that different. But at least I'm doing something to change, right?
You know, I'm really going to miss Popeguy. Not just when he goes to Argentina, but when he comes back in the summer. He's not going to be living with me. He's moving in with this older gay couple whom I like to refer to as his mentor. Sometimes I feel like he takes what they say too much to heart. I don't want him to become a carbon copy of who they are. I love him for who he is. And sometimes I don't appreciate thei influence. So yeah, since he's moving in with them I feel like I won't see him. He won't have time for me anymore. All his focus is going to be on them and his bf and they can all be happily gay together. I'm not included in that circle. He said I could come over, but I don't think he really wants me there. It's crosses that line that separates us.
But tonight was fun anyway. We wrote our papers, grabbed some pizza, then play-fought in bed. I miss play-fighting. It was always one of my favorite things to do. But we don't sleep together anymore so don't do it anymore.
I miss sleeping with someone.
scullerymaid at 12:38 a.m.