November 02, 2009
Run to miracle
Wow! I just got back from the gym and let me tell you...i kicked ass for someone who hasn't been in over two months. Yeah, I only ran a little over a mile, but I ran the whole thing and at a higher speed than I used to! Then I did some muscle machine things. You know, for my arms and legs. I'm very content with myself right now. Maybe I'll try to start going more again. Because as busy as I am sometimes and as lazy as I feel, I love that feeling when you walk out of the gym. The moment you push those doors open and head home, your body is on fire. A good fire. a fire that makes you smile. Maybe you're hot and red and sweaty, but you're also on top of the world.
It's not like I go to bed early anyway. Why not go at 9 o'clock at night if i'm not working?
Anyway, Artist has been getting on my nerves lately and I'm not sure why. Maybe too much exposure. And she keeps droppign hints for the two of us to live together next year, but there's no way. I can't deal with seeing her boyfriend every weekend and frankly I don't think I could deal with spending that amount of time with her. Because this is what would happen. We'd move in and it would be great for a couple weeks. Then I'd start feeling restless, like she would constantly want to know what I'm doing and then I would start coming home really late so I wouldn't have to really see her. Then she would start feeling lonely and it would just all be unpleasant. Wherever I end up living next year, it needs to be with someone that understands I need alone time. Sometimes I don't want to be around people. Or sometimes, I want to be around, but I don't feel like talking. I just like to be quiet and observent every once in a while. It's part of who I am. And though Artisit understands that part of me, with only two of us living together I think it would start to bother her after a bit. I wish I had more guy friends. I would move in with a bunch of guys in a heart beat. Guys aren't as complicated as that. If I don't feel like hanging out, no big deal. Or if I just want to watch tv and lounge, let's do it. At least, the guys I used to know were like that. Now I don't have guy friends. Too bad...
For some reason Math and I have been clicking. To an extent anyway. She's having some issues and is relating them to me right now. I don't know. It's just working for the times being.
I've mentioned my newly found obsession with Art History, right? Well, I'm trying to figure out how to study both Spanish and Art History. So maybe I'll just go down to central America and study the Maya. I don't know if that's really what I want to do because I don't know what I want, but maybe it would be interesting. My spanish would improve, that's for sure. I just have no idea where I want to go. The only thing I know is that I want to do something great. Something meaningful. I want to have a part in making history. Besides, sitting in a classroom all day or in a cubicle sounds no fun. I want to explore the world.
And I might be going on a cruise to the Bahamas in May. I don't know. We'll see. That would be pretty sweet though. I want this summer to mean something. To be significant. I want to do as much as I can. The only problem is, I have to do it alone now. Maybe I can find another best friend figure. Just not become as attatched this time round.
scullerymaid at 10:41 p.m.