September 14, 2009
Andy, John, Jeff
I think I just realized that I'm in a surrogate relationship.
Bump that!
How did that happen? I don't know, but I don't like that thought at all. Solution? Join more clubs and become more involved on campus. Find my own niche, you know? But I still don't know what types of actitivites I enjoy. It would be nice to have a good guy friend that isn't constantly looking for his next hook up. Perhaps that, too, would be rather surrogate, but at least we'd have similar agendas.
You know, Popeguy broke up with his boyfriend about two or three weeks ago. Then two or three days later, he found his next catch. Funny how that always happens.
But it's okay! I'm learning to cope with the fact that he is indeed a serial dater and doesn't understand the true benefit of actually developing his emotions and learning what it means to be human. If he wants to go through people one after another, he's going to break one day.
And I know that one day I won't be here anymore. It's a truth I don't want to admit to myself. We have all these plans and hopes- together- but in the end I know that I will choose to leave him. At least, I'm pretty sure I will. I don't know when. Two years from now. Five years, ten. It's a coin throw. But that realization really hurts me.
On another note, I've been expanding my horizons in the social arena. I go to club meetings and talk to people i don't really know. I also talk to this guy Rob a lot. We went to high school together and he and Math had a fling, but he found her too immature and a bit of a floozy. But yeah, we have decent convos a few times a week. We both have breaks between classes and it kind just happens.
And I know this is really random, but i'm pretty sure all my freinds think I have bad taste in the male department. I don't know why, but I'm extremely attracted to tall, lanky guys. I don't think it's because they are lanky that i'm attracted to them. For example, there's this guy in my Comm class and he is one of the skinniest guys I've ever set eyes on. And his is super tall which only adds to hins lank. But I think I've found a common link between these guys. Their cheekbones. They all have these really high, prominant cheekbones and I think that's what I'm really attracted to. Their cheekbones are just so distinctive...it makes them look very distinctive. I mean, I'll admit that's why i like my Redhead. He has very distinctive hair. You can spot him a mile away.
So yeah, just an interesting self-analysis.
scullerymaid at 9:31 p.m.