October 16, 2008
Dazed and confused
Sometimes I'm so confused and can't make sense of anything. Most of the time my resulting thoughts are either hypocritical or conflicting with eachother and I can't just come out with a solid, firm conclusion or answer.
Sometimes I hate trying to explain myself to my freinds. Because they shoot me down. I know maybe it was more of us shooting down eachother, but mine is more of a ramble and then they just shut me right down.
The other night Popeguy, Snortgiggles, and I were talking about sex. Now that little missy has been popped if you will, she wants to "test the waters" with the other guy she's been messing around with. And of course I told her she shouldn't. And she wanted to know why. But of course, she didn't really want to know why. She just wanted to prove that all the reasons are stupid. And I didn't want to pull the religion card (I mean, who am I to reach? What kind of Christian am I really? Not an extremely active one), but I kind of did. But they mistook my meaning and I was too far down the gutter to care about redeeming myself properly.
Really, I don't care about premarital sex. I mean, why not have sex before you're married? I don't think there's a excuse not to wait for your spouse, but things happen. But I think it's wrong and dirty to just go out and have sex with multiple people at the same time. So what if it's just casual? What's wrong with limiting your sexual activity to one person? Is it so bad? Does it not make you a slut or trashy because you find pleasure out of it too?
I don't know. It bothers me. And I'm sure everyone and their mother things I'm this anti-sex prude but trust me, trust me I am not. I just don't think it's something you should jump right into. Or if you do, than keep it with that person and not the whole block.
Ug!!! I'm so frustrated. I love having these deep convos that we have, but I wish they'd just let me listen instead of participate. Half the time the things I say isn't fully what I believe. Sometimes it's just a thought. Nothing more...
scullerymaid at 6:30 p.m.