September 17, 2005
The wind beats on the mountain
This morning I was browsing some layouts for my diary. I found a few nice ones, but nothing that jumped out at me.
The principal called me to his office yesterday. I know, very scary. I mean, I knew it was about my schedule, but I still held strong to that childhood belief that the principal's office is a bad place to be sent. But he didn't get to see me. There were five other people waiting before me, and three of us didn't make it in before the bell rang, so we'll go again monday.
I'm confusing myself. I don't like my piano class, but I am learning and I appreciate the knowledge the teacher has given me. I really do enjoy playing piano. And because of that, I'm telling myself that I don't want to get out, but I do. I just don't know what I want. Do I want to go into Theater Productions? Yeah, if I knew we had that class last May I would've jumped on it. The truth is I'm scared. I could deal with being in piano, but I can't do recitals. At least in Theatre, it would be like any other class and I could still hide in my shell.
I wish I knew what I want. The same goes with life. I don't know what I want to be. I know I have time, but it's not that far away and that scares me to. Do I want to be a chef, or is that just my dad talking? Do I want to be a historian, or is that my grandma talking? Do I want tog et involved with horses like I used to, or is that mom reminding me of my childhood dreams? I don't know! I don't know who I am, or what I like. I'm simply a piece of clay that everyone touches and leaves a shape in. I'm like that girl that Hilary Duff played in Joan of Arcadia. At the moment, I'm just occupying space.
"The wind beats on the mountain, and even if the mountain doesn't fall, it is chipped away at"
scullerymaid at 10:43 a.m.