October 20, 2014
My Whiskey Girl
Yesterday, I took Whiskey back to the Animal Care Center to find a new home and I've been crying ever since. I've been struggling with this decision for about a month now. I just feel like her behavior was getting progressively worse and I wasn't experienced enough to handle it. She had a lot of anxiety and it was beginning to lean toward the side of fear aggression. I think it became clear that I wasn't giving her what she needed, so I explained all this to the handlers there and they took her back to find a better suited home.
She was a really good dog. I miss her so much. It was so strange not snuggling with her in bed last night, or not having to take her out this morning. She was my shadow and the fact that she isn't following me all around the house just keeps leaving me in tears. I know this will be better for her. I know she needs someone that understands her anxiety and maybe even someone that doesn't work. She didn't handle separation very well, either.
Even though I've been doing research and asking advice, I still feel like I just abandoned her there. She was mine and I was hers and I just left her. They didn't even take the leash away from me before I started balling. And I cried for at least 15 minutes in the parking lot and then for another hour at home. I really didn't think I would take it so hard, but I did. She was my girl. I loved her dearly, but left her anyway.
This weekend they had an adoption event so I have no doubt she'll get adopted quickly. She's a gorgeous dog, and was always sweet with me. I don't think she'll be there for very long. Hell, I adopted her on only her second day! So I pray someone good comes along. I pray the handlers pass this person along my notes and that they give Whiskey the best home. I pray they give her what I didn't manage to.
I just wish things had turned out differently. I keep going through our pictures and I'm just stewing in misery. Not regret, because I think someone with more experience dealing with some of her issues will give her a better home than I did, but I'm terribly sad about the whole thing and really hope she isn't missing me as much as I'm missing her. We had 5 great months together. Hopefully her new owner will give her 10 great years.
I'm a terrible person.
scullerymaid at 2:25 p.m.