June 06, 2013
Regret?
Sometimes I wonder about my taste in men. So Saturday Charles and I went on our date. We didn't do the truck pull because he got off late and we would have never made in back to NC in time to see it. So we decided just to get some pizza at this little Italian restaunt down the road and rent a redbox. I just have to say that 7 ft is no joke. I looked like a munchkin next to him and I'm not a short girl. It cracked me up a little bit. Anyway, dinner went pretty well and conversation wasn't awkward, though he kept telling me how beautiful I was which meant my face was blushing red the whole time. He seemed very forward. As soon as he picked me up he kissed me, which through me off a little bit, but for the most part I didn't mind that he was forward. When we returned to my apartment to watch the movie, he kissed me again, pulling me into his lap and the rest of the night pretty much turned into a makeout session. Oh diary, it was so nice to makeout with some one. Such a simple pleasure! It's been so long since I've just been kissed and he did a pretty good job at it. I hate to admit, that it made me think of Jordan for a moment. That's the kind of level of making out we were on! I can count on one hand how many times TJ has made out with me and I was never really all that impressed. And as much as I loved TJ, it was so nice to be with someone that wasn't so...scrawny. I mean, at one point Charles decided he wanted to pick me up and so he did. If you know me, this is a big deal. I'm a curvy girl, not some skinny minny and he picked me up like I didn't weigh a thing. It was very exhilarating haha.
Since he does live in NC and I liked him enough anyway, I let him stay the night. We kissed and we cuddled and we slept. He was very adament about not having sex because he's looking for a girlfriend and not a casul fling. I respected his decision so didn't push the issue, but the next morning with a certain something pressed against me I had my way with him anyway.
So yes, overall I'd say it was a good date. He texts me everyday and we're trying to plan out our next date.
But now listen to this. Last nigh the was acting a little weird so I asked what was wrong. He then apologized to be for being distant. I thought he was a little quiet, but I didn't think he was really being all that distant. He'd worked a couple late shifts so I figured he was just tired. So I asked him why he thought he was being distant and what he had to say really confused me.
Me: Why do you think you're being distant?
Him: I don't know. I miss you. I think it's because I stayed the night
Me: Wait. You're being distant because you miss me, or you're being distant because you stayed the night?
Him: I miss you because I stayed the night. I liked cuddling but shoudln't of stayed on the first date.
Me: Who says you can't stay over on the first date...are you following a rule book?
Him: No just my judement.
Me: That sounds an awful lot like regret. It was the sex, wasn't it. You know, we don't have to continue this if you're uncomfortable. I would understand.
Him: Why would you say that? It wasn't the sex. I don't regret staying I just wish I didn't.
Me: Wishing something didn't happen still sounds like regret.
Then he said his goodnights and I'm not sure what to think about the whole conversation. Sounds like a guilty conscience, doesn't it? Maybe a break in his moral code? Talk about sounding like Jordan! Remember how he told me I defiled him lol (though all these guys make the first move!!!). Anyway, I'll let him think it over and see what happens. Like I said, I'm not exactly sure what he's trying to tell me. Is the issue just the fact that he stayed the night? He did say he didn't have a problem with the sex, but maybe that's why he's being distant. If it's a girlfriend issue, I don't think I would mind after we had a couple dates. My thing is, he keeps saying how much he misses me so I don't really know how to deal with this problem.
We'll just see how he feels when we talk tonight.
scullerymaid at 11:44 a.m.