August 07, 2012
With all of you
Today I feel really low. I miss my friends. All of them. Popeguy, SB, Snortgiggles, Math, and Artist. Last night I had a dream about missing them and I suppose that's why I'm feeling the way I do.
I miss college. The big world isn't as fun as I thought it would be.
I miss my boyfriend. I miss that guy I first met. The one that gave chase while I couldn't care. I miss how affectionate he was and how he made me want to be with him. Now when I look at him I hate him for making me love him. I hate him for making me want to choose him and leaving everything else in the dust.
I miss my family. I miss having a family. But my family hasn't been a family in a long time. Sometimes when I miss them, I stop and remind myself that there isn't anything to miss because it never existed.
This is a terrible way to start the day. I haven't been up 15 minutes and I'm already crying. Absolutely ridiculous. I hope I'm not going to feel this sense of melancholy all day. Perhaps I'll give Popeguy a ring to cheer me up.
scullerymaid at 10:21 a.m.