February 01, 2012
TBCLATER
Last night I found myself thinking about Zach. Until most recently, the past couple weeks perhaps, he was still calling me all the time. I rarely answered. I began to think to myself how desperate he must be to get laid if he hadn't gotten the hint yet. Sure, sometimes I liked to talk to him, see what he's up to and all, but those times were so far and few in between I always found it surprising when I saw his name on my caller id. I used to wonder if he really couldn't find some other girl to fuck. In my experience, it's not that hard. Where there's a want there's a will and where there's a will there's a way. Now that his calls have thought maybe he's found someone else to satisfy his needs. But I won't lie- that first time he called be, that very night when he returned from war, there's a part of me that was...touched is the wrong word- I guess I was intrigued that he called me. Of course, the other part of me was pissed that he was calling me for the simple fact that he hadn't had sex in four months. But still, Zach may not have been my first love, not really, but he was my first everything else. Even though things with us will probably never start up again, I'm glad he called that one night. And I like chatting with him here and there. I wish him happiness.
But yes, so last night I found myself thinking of his as I was drifting off to sleep. There are things that I definitely miss about the relations we had. Like sleeping together. We always slept naked. Always. Truth, we didn't spend much time together in our clothes in the first place, but I did love sleeping against him. Why is is all my guys have tiny little twin beds? We used to cram in that bed, our clothesless bodies intertwined. It was nice. TJ is not really one to take his clothes off. I don't know if it's because he's so skinny and chills easily or perhaps it's his upbringing, but sleeping naked is not in the picture and sometimes I miss that. There are a few things I miss about Zach. Like how tall he was and the frame that went with that height. At least I never felt like i might crush Zach. Sometimes I think to myself if I just lost a little more weight, a few more pound- and if TJ could gain a few more pounds- it would be alright. But it's not as bad as I make it out to seem sometimes. He accepts that I'm a little chubby and I drool over him every day. I wouldn't trade him for someone else for a million dollars. He's so good to me. There are times when I don't know what to do with myself because he's so good. He handles my grumpiness like a pro. He takes me out and brings me in. He makes me laugh, though he's made me cry at time or two as well. Now if only I could fix this snoring problem of mine things would be dandy. I'm a little sick right now so it's like ten times worse and I refuse to be one of those couples that sleep in separate rooms. What's the point in that? I don't think my snoring is even that bad. I've asked all my friends. TJ is such a light sleeper he can hear the dryer all the way across the house! So how am I suppose to combat that...grr! Yesterday we both took off work and spent the day together. First we got my hair straightened, because that was his birthday gift to me (and now my hair is silky and shimmery). Then we went in search if an aura reader. She was closed so we might make an appointment next time. Could be interesting. Unfortunately, I was sick throughout all of this. Runny nose, sneezing, etc. But it was still a nice day. When we got home we napped, then cleaned, and I spent the rest of the night cooking up a feast for tonight. I'm making pulled pork. It's an All American themed night, hence bbq and vinegar cucumbers. All of our friends are mixing tonight. That should prove to be interesting
scullerymaid at 5:43 p.m.