February 27, 2011
Painkiller
Yesterday was such a fun day...though I spent more money than I should have! I went shopping at the outlets with Linsey and Coley and was doing so well until our last two stores: J Crew and Fossil. Bought this really cute summer dress at the Crew and then broke down and bought two wallets and a purse at Fossil- at least they were on sale! But what really made my day was when we went to American Eagle. I didn't buy anything there, but I did try on a few outfits, and they all fit! I've never shopped at AE in my life because the clothes were always too small. Not anymore, baby! I'm probably still not going to shop there, but the point is I could if I wanted to.
But all this shopping did make me feel a little frustrated with my body. My shape is definitely that of a reverse triangle. I have these killer in shape legs and a naturally slim waste with no ass to speak of. But then I get larger up top which makes it really awkward to shop for clothes. Small bottom half, large top half- it just doesn't look right all the time! But at least my face is slimmed down. Just need to work on this midsection.
After shopping, I hung out with the girls for awhile before heading out to hang out with the circle (my usual group of friends). And Popeguy told me that he and the bf broke up for good for good. I didn't see that coming! And he waited a whole week to tell me. So we decided to have a sleepover together like old times and I told him what a hard year I've had. Silly me even started tearing up when I told him about basically living out of my car. It was so weird to say it all out loud. I explained to him how ever since he left a year ago my life turned upside down and I've been on survival mode. I'm still on survival mode. Despite the fact that everything is fine and settled down, I can't seem to break out of it. It's like I'm always on my guard, waiting for the next bad spell to happen. Then we talked about my sudden entrance into the world of sex. Little prude me who always gave him hell for his indescretions, now having indescretions of my own. Then he told me about his year. How studying abroad has made him feel displaced. How he felt like he was constantly being ripped out of his setting and how sometimes he doesn't know who he is because he struggles with all these different identities. How he rejected Quebec when he first got there and actually started missing Virginia. It was a very good talk ad much needed by both of us.
Crazy. I can't remember the last time we talked like that as best friends and not as classmates or co-workers. But best friends. Because even as much as we've changed and grown, we still have eachother. Part of me was scared that our connection wasn't as strong anymore.
scullerymaid at 11:31 a.m.