October 14, 2010
Cameron
Watching boys with their sheepish grins and silly antics makes sad tears prick my eyes because none of those smiles or antics are for me anymore. I remember what it felt like to have a boy give you that look. and more than anything I miss it. I miss something that never really belonged to me which makes me wish I had it now even more. Funny how little moments like that happen. Sitting at a table and hoping that spark of recognition followed by a silly grin and shy wave were meant for you, but knowing well they were meant for the girl standing in front of you.
I want a lover, and if not a lover a friend of the male persausion. My closest friends were always males and I crave that companionship like an alcoholic craves tequila. I want someone to play video games with while we wait for take out. I want someone to go on hikes with, someone who will tell me I'm stupid for my silly girly feelings. I want someone that can challenge me without me feeling hostile and aggressive.
Maybe in Montana I'll find some guy roommates...
scullerymaid at 6:08 p.m.