January 31, 2009
My Independence!
I'm going to start digging a hole and keep digging until I reach China!
Blind Date called me tonight in the middle of dinner. He was on his work break. I talked with him for almost half an hour. And the whole time I was screaming inside for the conversation to end.
It's nothing against him, really it isn't. He actually seems like a pretty nice guy. But it's not going to work for me. I know all we've done is talk on the phone, but I'm just not feeling it.
I think most of my negativity sprouts from my independence. When I find a guy, I want to find him. All on my own. I don't want to be set up and set up and set up. Besides, I don't want a relationship right now. I mean, if I happen upon one, that's great. But at this epoint in my life, boys are more trouble than pleasure (well, sometimes). And there's just noone that I'm interested with. I'm waiting for that guy that's going to knock me off my feet. And if I had to wait for him, so be it (Hopefully a mini-version of him will at least pop up in the next year or so, though). I don't have time to filly around. When I am finally with someone, I want it to be for the long haul. And I want it to be for me and me alone. Not for my friends. Not for their boyfriends. And sure a shell not for the friends of their boyfriends.
This is who I am. I will find my partner someday. And I will find him when I'm supposed. These things fall in place.
Now I just have to figure out how to let Blind Date down gently. I suppose I'll humor this whole situation for awhile, but I don't want anything out of it and I don't want to lead him on either. But I don't want to just blow him off after the two stupid match-makers gave him excitement. I'm not sure exactly what to do. Maybe it'll fizzle out...
I'll take the friend route I guess. Be nice, but not available.
scullerymaid at 10:21 p.m.