February 28, 2008
The games boys and girls play
"If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?"
NO! No you may not!!!!
How can he send me things like this? You see what he does? We go back to being good friends, and he pulls this up again! Does he realize what he's doing? I mean, does he even think "maybe I shouldn't send this seeing the circumstances..." Of course he doesn't! Everytime I let him go, regress back to friends and nothing more, he makes me fall again.
What am I supposed to make of this? Am I really just supposed to brush it off. Maybe he sent it to our other friends, too. See, that would be okay because then it wouldn't be just directed towards me. But I checked and no one else has it that I can see. Maybe he's trying to send me some kind of sign for "one day." Or maybe he really is just stupid.
I choose both. Because he wants things. But is too scared to pursue them. And you know why? I know why! Because it never works out for him. It always ends and he's always the one that pulls out. And he doesn't want to do it again. To do it to me. I guess I respect him for that, but then why play all these games?
I try to tell him he can't talk to me that way. That we can only be so close. But he continues anyway.
Maybe I should step up my game. If he wants to play games, why shouldn't I? And then we'll see what he really wants. The best way to find out what you want is to threaten to take it away. All this time I've made myself available. Caring and loving. I let him use my energy to life him back up. So maybe I should become unavailable. No, I can't do that. I don't know, but I need a plan of action since obviously he's making me wear the pants!!!!
scullerymaid at 12:22 a.m.