November 20, 2007
Following the leader, the leader
It's ironic the way things turn out. Just last night I was complaining about the Panera circle and now I've been invited to join it. A lot of people have been quiting and they're becoming short-handed. So last night before we went to sleep, Popeguy asked me if I would come work.
What!
I have no desire in working right now. The thought of working makes me nervous for some reason I can't explain. I think it's just fear of being bad, which is absolutely ridiculous. Especially working at Panera because Popeguy said I could work prep and line instead of register. So I'd be making food. Simple. Of course, it does get busy at times, but I should be able to handle it, right?
I don't know. Actually, I do know and Popeguy knows. He asked me and I will do it. Even though it means getting up at 5 in the morning. Even though it means no more procrastination. Even though it knows no more late night. He knew I would do it before he asked.
And it's not a bad thing. I'll gain experience working. I'll get to work with food. I'll be paid. And I won't have to rely on anyone else for money.
Sometimes I think Popeguy is mapping out my life for me. I don't think he realizes it, but I'm letting him do it. Come to CNU with me. Major in Spanish with me. Teach with me. Get your doctorate with me. Work at Panera with me.
Right now, it's fine. I haven't made any plans of my own, so I consider all this my back up plan until I realize what I really want to do. And Spanish isn't bad. For years people have told me to major in it. Being a professor isn't bad either. I hear the pay is decent. And Panera?It's a college job. Why not?
As long as I'm not following him blindly, because it seems doubtful that we will always be together. But sometimes I have this feeling he would follow me wherever I go and I would follow him wherever he goes.
We'll see where life takes us.
Oh! I'm still in love with Falcon's roommte. We'll call him Chef.
scullerymaid at 10:44 a.m.