July 30, 2007
Terrible thoughts
I'm such an eegit. Ug, what is wrong with me? Why do I have such poor communication skills, even with my so called friends? I just got off the phone with Popeguy (I'm supposed to go with him tomorrow to get his shots) and I don't know. I felt like the conversation was strained so I got off the phone. I mean, I know I hate talking on the phone, but come on! Get over it!
Today was an icky day anyway. I won't go into detail. Maybe that's why I was not very good on the phone. I would've let him on on my little rant, which I didn't want to do. We seem to only chat when things aren't good on my side.
Maybe I should get a shrink? No, I don't think so.
I've changed my last name. I half think to myself what if I changed my first name and just disappeared? Terrible thoughts, I know.
I don't want to be the girl people pity because her home life isn't top notch. Because really, it's not terrible. I guess when I complain, I feel like I'm saying all the wrong words and everything seems worse than it really is. Or maybe it is the way it sounds and I just deny it. So it's better just not to say anything at all. To nod and smile.
Maybe my problem is I can't be deadly honest with my friends. Or that I don't have frends with whom I want to be deadly honest. It kinda makes you envy Harry Potter, huh?
scullerymaid at 7:46 p.m.