February 01, 2007
Looks and mein
Sometimes I feel a pain in my heart while reading a wonderful book that has a beautiful love story. It's because I'm afraid that no one will ever feel that way about me. That I'm unattractive. That I'm weird. I mean, practically the only person to give me a second glance is one of my brother's friends, which is in itself disturbing.
But then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Not a good look, only a glimpse, and I see a pretty face- a face that speaks of a regal and exotic beauty. Almost matriarchal. And I'm filled with this sense that I'm meant to be a wife and mother and that I would be great at it. I just have to have faith and believe that that is the life God has paved out for me.
Besides, I've received attention in the past. Maybe not from anyone I wanted it from, but it was attention nonetheless.
And looking around at the guys at school, they aren't really all that appealing. Sure, there is a cutie here and there, but 'tis only looks, not personality.
scullerymaid at 9:33 p.m.