February 04, 2006
Uncomfortable in my own skin
I swear every guy I come in contact with and can actually hold a decent conversation with is gay. So obviously I don't have a problem with gay guys, but do all of them have to be gay? My heart has been broken. Not really, but why can't people, especially if you've been friends with them for awhile, tell you that they are gay? Fortunately, it was only a minor crush that can be (hopefully) ignored easily.
I wonder if he'll ever tell me himself? I'm not going to tell him I know. But I really don't like secrets. And yes, I understand why he might want to keep that a secret, but why does everyone know but me? Do people just not trust me? Who would I tell. There's only one person in this world that I talk freely to. No one else knows who I am. But, I guess that's not a good thing. I don't let people in, so they don't let me in. But I'm incapable of making the first move.
There's a reason why I don't talk. When I say things, people don't get me. For instance, today I went to Competition with 4th period theater, and I couldn't find my bookbag so I told Ms. W that someone stole. She thought I was panicing, but really it was only my usual spunky self. The part of me she hasn't met yet. She doesn't understand my dry humor yet. Actually, I'm not sure what dry humor is, but someone told me that that's the kind of humor I had.
I can't believe we didn't win at Competition. I think we at least deserved 2nd place.
scullerymaid at 6:10 p.m.