January 02, 2014
Day 01
Day 01- your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is
My current relationship is toxic, a thing that was dragged out longer than it should have been. From the very first date I should have known better. We didn�t get into an argument per say, but he definitely pissed me off. I spent the night anyway. It was all in good fun, right? Three years later I can�t count how many times my heart has been ripped from my ribs, how terribly my spirits have been shattered, how doubtful I�ve become at times. And yet here I am, more than a friend, less than a lover, constantly torn. I know I could walk away any moment, and I�m confident that I have the strength to do so, but why would I want to? He�s the poison I crave, the demon I welcome. Eventually the pain I allow myself to feel will heal the hurt he caused and then I�ll never have to feel this again.
I wonder what it�s like to trick someone into loving you?
But it�s not all darkness. I wouldn�t stay if that were the case. No, I stay to cherish the good moments. The trips, the dinners, the movies. The smiles, the laughs, the knowing that comes along with spending so much time with an individual. The companionship which I sincerely enjoy. One day I will leave. But today is not that day. Today my heart is still stronger than my mind, my love fiercer than my instinct. But who knows which will win tomorrow.
scullerymaid at 11:48 p.m.