May 29, 2012
Text tag
I'm a terrible girlfriend. Since TJ is so keen on being so relationship phobic (even though this relationship was his idea), I've stepped back and given his space and am pretty much "doing my own thing" as he would say. I'm not as quick to have dinner on the table. I see my friends a little more regularly than I have been since the move here. I now use my spare time to focus on my new food blog, to read, and to exercise. I'll also be working again soon, probably irregular restaurant hours and won't be in the house at his beck and call.
But I think the tip of the iceberg might have to do with our phone communication. I'm not really much of a phone person. I like to keep my phone handy for it's alarm, calendar, and clock. Oh, and emergencies. Otherwise, it doesn't see much action. I'm even prone to forget it at the house when I go out. But when someone messages me, I'm usually pretty quick in my responses. It's the polite thing to do in my opinion. But for the past week or so I'm been basically ignoring Tj's texts. Not that he texts me often mind you. Which might be part of why I'm ignoring him. If he wants to spend his days texting his ex, why should I waste my time texting him, feeling as though I'm in some sort of texting competition? No thank you. I see him 16 hours out of a day anyway. There's no real reason to communicate for the eight hours that he's gone.
But since I've started ignoring him he seems to text me more. Poor thing. I conveniently left my phone in some other room. Can't help it if I don't hear it.
Maybe I am being mean. Perhaps I'm being irrational with this whole phone thing. But I don't spend my days flirting with my ex, who by the way has been trying to get me back into his bed for seven months now. So I would appreciate it if he didn't spend his day getting all buddy buddy with her. I know it doesn't matter. She's married and lives in Hawaii for goodness sake. I know I'm being silly. Is that what it takes for him to want to have conversations with me? Do I need to break up with him, get married, and move across the country for him to be interested?
Well that's silly. I probably wouldn't even mind if he at least took into consideration the fact that it bothered me. If he would just talk to me about it, I'd probably move on with no problem. But not talking makes me feel like things are so secretive.
They aren't. The problem is people from his past keep filling my head with shit and making me paranoid. That's why I need to go back to work to occupy my mind.
Or maybe I really am just a crazy person.
scullerymaid at 3:18 p.m.