April 29, 2013
Aches
I wish there was an off switch because I hate that my feelings for you are so back and forth after all this time. Hatred one moment, love the next, hopelessness after that. Let me be a vampire and not feel this despair any longer. I can't stand feeling so dark and bitter. Bitterness just breeds more bitterness. Maybe it was my doing. Maybe I didn't tell you I loved you until it was too late. But I showed you everyday, even in days I knew you didn't deserve it. I wish I hadn't. I wish I had rejected you instead of loved you because now I'm paying for it. I thought my heart would be healed by now but it's just as bad today as it was that first night apart.
My heart is still broken and I fear at this rate it will never mend. So turn me into a monster that has no time for such trifles. You're not worth this ache I feel and yet the ache remains
scullerymaid at 9:46 a.m.