May 06, 2013
Good news
I went to my doctor on Friday to get a second opinion about my diagnosis from Patien First. Turns out...I DON'T have diabetes! This whole month I've been freaking out over nothing, preparing myself for a lifelong journey of no potatoes or cake.
I was so overjoyed, nothing could have put me in a bad mood on Friday...which is why Math waited until midnight to attack me about my relations with TJ. But even then, I couldn't be too mad because I didn't have diabetes and she was mostly right anyway. But we all heal in our own time in our own matter and not all of us have doting British fiances that worship the ground we walk on. So there and there!
A part of me would like to feel a little indignant about the whole Patient First thing, but at the same time I'm glad it happened. I didn't eat horribly before, but now I really do add more veggies to my meals instead of just thinking about it. Now I eat a piece of fruit at least once a day. I read labels and watch my sugar/sodium intake. Instead of just doing okay with my health and not worrying all that much, I'm more conscious of the things I'm putting in my mouth...though I admit this weekend was a little more celebratory than it should have been. Goldschlager and cheese fries- I couldn't help myself since I thought I'd never be able to eat cheese fries again. Potatoes turn into sugar, you know.
But now it's Monday and I won't be distracted by other people and can focus on good meals again until the weekend. Saturdays are my cheat days.
I still haven't managed to wake up early enough to go to the gym in the morning, but I do go in the evenings and the fact that I go is what counts.
Yesterday would have been my anniversary with TJ. We did yardwork and went out for Mexican with his parents, Torey, and Sarah. I was going to cut things off this weekend. It has officially been two years and I thought that was an appropriate time to tie up loose ends. He told me himself that we should change the way that things are going...but he never follows his own word. He says we shouldn't do this, and then we do it. He says we shouldn't do that, and then we do it. I don't know what I really want to do, but now that my two year mark has passed, I'm going to distance myself and start seeing other people. Before I couldn't stand the idea of seeing someone else. It hurt too much. Now, I might as well turn back to my old ways while I'm still young enough to do so and experience what the world has to offer. It'll be fun and hopefully healing. It's been near four months since we broke up and I'm still a mess over it. It's time to get over that!
scullerymaid at 9:15 a.m.