September 04, 2012
Branches
It was so sweet. Last night TJ and I went over to his parents house for dinner...which was wonderful by the way! I never knew how much I liked clams or hashbrown casserole. Anyway, after we ate TJ passed out so his mom and I went outside to burn some of her papers since his dad had a fire going to get rid of a few fallen branches. We had such a nice conversation! I admit at times I felt a little awkward. As much as I adore his mother, I don't get a lot of one on one time with her. But we talked about how old she was when she got married (19) and left home for the first time. How she started having her children a few years later and how many times they moved around until settling into the house they are in now. We talked about her sons and some of the strange attitudes they have. We talked about TJ a little bit, though I didn't tell her about our problems. Still, it was nice to get some insight from her. She said he's always been very private and rather moody and it's really hard to get close to him. He doesn't let people in and if he doesn't want to talk about something he's not going to talk about. Boy is that the truth! i'm big on talking and it frustrates me so much when he won't talk to me because that's how I resolve issues. He just brushes it under the rug and forgets about it. One thing that struck me as interesting though is she said that she believes he would like a family one day. I disagreed a little bit because he freezes up anytime that kind of conversation comes up, but she thinks there's a part of him that would like to settle down but won't because he can't afford it financially. I don't know if I believe that at all, but we both agreed that he would make an awesome father. It's true. One of the reasons I stuck around so long is because I knew he would make a great dad if we did settle down. Despite everything, I still can see it. He might make a terrible husband, but he would really be an awesome dad I think.
Having conversations like that make me so sad sometimes. It makes me sad to think that I'm never going to know if he's going to make a good dad or not because his solution is to always run away. Sure, once in awhile we talk about the problems between us (which are mostly his problems) but overall he'd rather not try to work things through. His mom made a good point about that, though she wasn't referring to her son. She said the problem with couples today is they aren't willing to stay together and work through their problems. They aren't willing to face the bad times together so they split. They don't know how to learn to be happy together again.
I couldn't agree more. TJ is a prime example of that. One screw goes loose and he starts unscrewing all the other screws instead of tightening the first one.
Sometimes I like to wish that he wasn't so difficult. I really would have married him I think. Then he went all weird on me!
scullerymaid at 10:14 a.m.