April 30, 2013
Lingering
Do you know what my problem is? I need to mingle. I need to go out and meet people. Just because I agree to meet someone doesn't mean I have to fall head over heals for them- Lord knows that hasn't happened in the past! But right now I'm allowing myself to be a hermit. Do you know what hermits do (well, my hermit self anyway)? They dwell and brood over dark thoughts.
Enough is enough. It's been three months. I'm am more than welcome to move on. I know a part of me refused to let go because an ounce of hope ligered in my heart that we could fix things...but why would I want to fix things with someone like him? I don't, I tell you. No! Because I allowed that hope to exist, I didn't have any desire to try something new. I kept clinging onto the past. I kept making comparisons in my head. But I've let myself feel this way for long enough and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being this person. I don't even recognize her half the time.
I think I'm going to say goodbye this weekend. Cut the ties. Sunday would have been our anniversary. I think that's a fitting time to let go. Things have come round circle. I have better things to fill my heart with than a little man who keeps tricking me into loving him. I know my love is worth so much more than that. It's time to stop cowering away and go out and see what's out there.
I already had the last laugh anyway. Why linger?
scullerymaid at 10:40 a.m.