September 24, 2010
Eagles
Oh diary! I feel like I haven't seen you in years. And so much has happened in these past few weeks of displacement I've been experiencing. In one week alone I got a flat (and had to buyt $400 tires!), a rock busted my back side window (which has yet to be replaced or covered up; poor car), and I got a stinkin' speeding ticket. That was my week from hell. Plus, I was trying to get an apartment for Dad and me and I was commuting 140 miles round trip daily to go stay with my mom who is having freak-out-worthy health issues. Add school and not working into the mix and it's just been one giant party. Especially with the nasty messages left by my ex-roomies.
But my luck has changed. I bumped into the roomies at a bar and in our intoxication I think we made up. I'm in my new apartment which is actually airconditioned so I have no reason to complain. I feel like my schoolwork sucks, but maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. Mom seems to be doing fine and I'll still visit her on weekebds. Now I just need to get the balls to leave my comfort zone at Panera and apply for that new job. Things are turning around. And my month of vegetarianism is coming to a close (though I have cheated a few times...).
Do you know how I knew things would be okay? And for most, it may be the most ridiculous thing, but I've never hidden the fact that I'm prone to superstition. So there! But the other day I was driving to my mom's and there was an eagle in the road. When my car approached, it took flight and disappeared in the wood. But the point is it was there. A bald eagle right in front of me! Can you imagine sich a sight. I don't think I've ever seen one in the wild before. In my Native American heritage, the eagle is sacred and I feel like it was a good omen of good times to come. And I escaped a four-car pile up by I swear two inches. If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is.
Today I have an appointment with the Career Center. I really hope it's helpful because my path has no destination right now. There's so many options now that I'm graduating...yet so little! I don't know what I want to do but I got to do something to pay off all these loans. So not looking forward to that. Why isn't education free like in other countries? I think instead of letting everyone in, there should be an exam to get in- and then if you pass it should be free. A don't like the idea of taking a rigorous exam, but if it meant free tuition I would study my ass off for days, something I've never done in my life.
But it's whatev. My problem is there's nothing in particular that I want to do, but at the same time I have goals. So I need to find a job that will meet those goals. I mean, if I'm going to create my familial empire, I'm going to have to make some bank. Not even bank, but enough to buy up a bunch of acreage and build a couple houses. Buy some horses, you know? I still have my heart set on Missoula, Montana. I checked out Montana State in Bozeman...but I didn't like the vibe of the city there. Missoula is more my style. But grad school is very intimidating. I never really wanted to go, or at least never actually stopped and thought about going. And now it seems like an option.
I guess today will help me determine that.
scullerymaid at 12:07 p.m.