December 26, 2009
Bucco
Oh diaryland!
I have a problem. I think...I think I might just still be in love with Peace. Not love, but there's something about him I can't seem to shake. I thought I was over it, but when I saw him last night and felt him wrap his arms around me and caress my back the way he does and nuzzle into my neck...my knees went weak and my stomach dropped. This is not good! I can't have thoughts like these. Nope. Can't do it. I have no intention of going down that path again. Ugh! It's been two years. Why does he still affect me so. I hate him...and yet it's obvious that I don't.
I just want him out of my system. But I don't know how to do that. Or maybe I do. I need him to finish what he started so I can be free.
Sometimes I do wonder if it's just in my imagination. Maybe his hugs linger for everyone. Maybe everyone gets a little neck-nuzzle action. Maybe he holds and touches everyone else the way he does me...oh God! His hands running down my back and up my sides. The way his fingers creep up my neck and how he knows where all my tickle spots are...NOPE!
I'm going to die. This is not fair. I never asked or wanted this. I was perfectly content until he had to go do that again. If he insists on doing all that, why not just kiss me and get it over with so we can get rid of all this stupid tension?!?!?! Be bold man!
scullerymaid at 10:44 p.m.