August 15, 2017
Submitted
I submitted my application! And I'm so nervous about it. What if I don't get fully accepted into the program? I don't think my GRE scores were really all that great...and I definitely DON'T want to take it again. But I've been attending for a year now and I've taken classes with the head of the graduate program. He said that I would be a good fit. Hopefully, he likes my application. Note: I submitted a horrible horrible final paper for his class last semester; it still haunts me! I still need to send out my GRE scores and old transcripts. I know I sent them before, considering I started this application a year ago, but when I looked up my scores online, it didn't list the school as a recipient. Better safe than sorry, right?
I can't believe how anxious I am over this! Fingers crossed all goes well.
My first non-birth control period started today. And it was absolutely awful. I seriously forgot how it could be. I mean, I threw up! That's right, I fucking threw up because...it was so painful? I don't even know why/how that happened, but it certainly wasn't pleasant. Then I proceeded to cramp horribly for three excruciating hours before I finally left the house and bought some Midol. And I was so angry. Everything was just grinding on my nerves because I was so focused on pain management before I got the meds. And an Icy Hot patch. Good god almighty! Thank goodness for the meds. I really can't get over how awfully it was. Menstruation has been an absolute breeze for the past sixish years. Birth control is a wonderful thing. During my pain hours, I was tempted to get back on, but I'll survive. On BC, my periods were nothing more than an awareness of a slight pressure in my lower abdomen. Today, if I didn't know better I would have thought something was wrong/the world was ending/I was dying. And having sex this morning before things really got going seemed a little tender, too.
I'm still cramping a little, but it's much more mild. At least I will be prepared for next month! I'm trying to remember if my period was this bad pre-BC and there is only one incident at Panera I remember cramping pretty bad during a closing shift. But them again, growing up and even in college my periods were fairly irregular. Maybe that had something to do with it. I don't remember bad periods because I wasn't having them frequently enough? Who knows.
The body is such an amazing thing, though. Even if it hated me today.
scullerymaid at 3:05 a.m.