January 14, 2016
Headaches
I'm exhausted. Really, I just feel so fatigued. Perhaps this is the remnants of being a little sick. All I know is that I'd love to sleep for a week. Not even a week. Give me another long weekend to catch up on my sleep and cleaning and everything else that I should be doing but am just too tired to do.
I'm applying for a waitressing job this weekend at a sushi restaurant. I don't know if they'll hire me because of my limited schedule, but I guess it's worth a shot. For some reason I've been really nervous about applying. Seriously, I've had bad dreams about it. But I need some extra income somehow. I was expecting to get money from my townhouse, but that turned out to be false. And Sarah isn't responding to my messages about the past due utilities. So I'm preparing to pay for everything on my own. Then you add in my student loans which are piling up along with all my other debt and it's all just so very scary. I might be better at budgeting now, but that doesn't mean my bills are getting paid the way they need to be. So fingers crossed I can get this job on Fridays and Saturdays. I've been whining to Brian about how nervous I am to apply, and he keeps telling me not to worry. That just because you get a job doesn't mean you have to take it, and just because you have a job doesn't mean you have to keep it. But let's see if I can get it first. He's so good to me.
Really, he is. My car broke down last week and he coddled me appropriately. I had a little mini breakdown because I didn't have the money to replace the battery and I was terrified it was more than just that. So he agreed to pick me up and take me to work in the morning. Which was great, but I was feeling really defeated and down. For one reason or another he decided to call me that night and I was in mid-cry. And he hopped in his car and came and got me. Then he bought me some chicken nuggets and we went back to his house. The next morning he took me to work, went to the store and got me a battery, and installed it for me. There was a little more to that, but that's the gist and I just felt so loved and taken care of. But in a good way, not in a charity case way. It was nice. I swear I'm going to marry that man. I just really love his gentleness. It's good for my soul.
Anyway, I'm starting to plan out what I want to get him for Valentine's day. This is the first real time I get to celebrate. I remember last year I went about trying to cook this meal for TJ and I, but it was just a sham...like our whole relationship. But not with Brian. I can't wait!
scullerymaid at 6:10 p.m.