November 06, 2015

Inside out

My prayers have been answered and it looks like everything is going to work out. I'm so very grateful. Last night I finally received the application fur the studio I'm trying to get into, and I'm submitting the rest of it tomorrow. Fingers crossed all that really does pan out because I don't exactly have a plan b here. I think it will. The current tenant sends rather hopeful at least so I'm going to remain hopeful. Who knows. Maybe by this time next week I'll be all settled in. I sure hope so!

Brian invited me over last night and I'd like to say we had a very good night. I'm not sure why or what or how things seemed better, but they did. Perhaps it's just me because all this stress has been lifted off my shoulders, but I felt the way I used to feel before the threat of breaking up. It was an intimate night for me. We were joking more confusing comfortably again. One of the things I've always enjoyed about our relationship is how playful it can be. There was pizza sharing and beer tasting and TV watching and it just felt so familiar. There was cuddling then later kissing. Those are some of my favorite moments. Plus I could simply kiss Brian forever.

Of course, kissing leads to other things and it was so nice to feel desire again. I'd say there's been a bit of a dry spell this month so I was quite surprised by his attentions. Then after, as he was braced above me, he kept smiling down at me. It was wonderful for him to look down at me like that. It gives me hope. I makes me believe all this really is worth fighting for. It fills me up with love.

But of course I started my period in the middle of our action and I was a little embarrassed. But that's okay. Another layer of growth, right?

Things are going to be okay. I'm going to move away from these toxic people and get my own place. I'm going to be thankful for the love I have in my heart and try to trust in my feelings. Everything tends to work out.

scullerymaid at 1:45 a.m.

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