September 14, 2015
Love and stress
The quickest way to put me to sleep is to put on a movie. It never fails, which is frustrating because I love a good film. Brian and I started watching Prometheus Saturday night, but since I fell asleep we finished it off in bit and pieces yesterday morning, and then last night. I managed to make it to the final credits, but as soon as they were done rolling I was out, sprawled across Brian in such a way I did finally wake with a crick in my neck. It's just that my days are always so long. I'm at work for nine hours and don't get out til 7. Then I usually end up grocery shopping every night to prepare something for dinner. Maybe I'll make it to the gym if I'm lucky. Sometimes I go over to Brian, and he doesn't get out of work until 10ish. But I really don't mind it all. It just makes it difficult to stay awake. I've gotten to the point now that when I'm tired, I can pretty much doze anywhere.
Ha, I fell asleep at Brian's parents' house yesterday. It was a nice evening, though. Lot's of weird jokes between everyone as usual. I can never tell if they're being serious or not. I think his mom is on my level with that one. Those boys have the strangest sense of humor! I'm not sure that we had intended to stay as late for dinner, but we ended up eating with them anyway. They ordered out from this Italian place. It wasn't too bad. I really enjoy going out to Brian's parents' house. They live out in the country and it reminds me of home. Plus his family is just so nice.
Anyway, then we went home and finished off the movie and I was dead tired. I felt like a zombie, my eyes were heavy, my brain was weary. I seriously felt like I couldn't do anything. So we eventually went to bed, only we didn't go to sleep. Instead, we ended up talking for a bit. I'm a sucker for talking in bed. I don't know why I love it so much, but I do so I perked right up. It was nice. It made me feel really close to Brian. I almost told him I loved him. But I stopped myself. I've never made a confession of my love before. Not until after the fact anyway. It was so strange. The words were on the tip of my tongue. There were butterflies in my stomach. I was in the middle of telling him about this monologue I had written in my head the previous day, about how much I appreciated him and the nature of our relationship, when suddenly I just wanted to tell him that I loved him. But then I decided it wasn't the right time. But even now I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. But it's a good thing. It's a real thing.
In other news, Sarah is really stressing me out. She doesn't do anything around the house, but I swear every other day she's texting me about the new cat. I inherited him recently from my stepmom's family. They needed to keep him somewhere, and I volunteered. He's a sweet cat. Very affectionate. But he has a really long coat and it's all matted up and he sheds quite a bit. I plan on shaving him, except no one local does cats. So I guess I'll have to do it myself, but it makes me nervous and I don't have a pair of clippers. Anyway, she's complaining that there's hair everywhere and our new roommate can't stay downstairs anymore because of her allergies. Which is funny that the new roommate hasn't said anything yet, and I just swept and mopped the whole house. Either way, she doesn't do shit, she keeps texting me about one thing or another, and it stresses me out. I'm very tempted not to renew our lease in December. But I have no place to go and can't afford to live on my own right now. Even if Brian and I were ready to love in together by that time, he's place doesn't allow pets and I have two.
My living situation really gives me anxiety. I'd move in with my parents, but the commute is terrible. What's a girl to do...
scullerymaid at 11:11 a.m.