April 23, 2015
ASMR
Looks like we're going on our second date on Sunday, and he's already booked me for next Sunday, too, so that I can check out this pop-up brunch place he really likes. I'm nervous about seeing him again, but we've been spending our nights talking and talking so I'm sure it will be fine. I don't think I've gone to bed before 1:30am since meeting him.
Last night our conversation turned a little more flirty? I think that's the word I would use. For the most part, we've been pretty chaste. We talk about music. We discuss films. You know, little things like that. But then last night he sent me a screenshot of this poem:
OH
you have to go and oh
I will be thinking of you
and listening of you
and placing my hand flatly against objects of you
and don't go
I can at least promise to love you
during the moments my belly is called my belly
instead of something else
It's heavy. It's too heavy for day after the first date texting. And I don't care. I don't know that I've ever felt so immediately smitten with someone before. I'm sure the poetry, only adds to my passions, but he is so easy to talk to and I feel so at ease with him and he's so sweet and kind and thoughtful. At least, that's the sense I get of who he is. Let's not forget that I've only known him for a week and some change.
Anyway, after he sent me that poem my heart melted. He told me how he didn't want to have any expectations because of past relationships, and I told him how I was scared because of the horrible ordeal that was my last relationship. But we both agree there is something here and we're both excited to see where things go. Oh, and how I hope they go somewhere. I feel so happy, I really do, and transformed. In the one week that we've been speaking, I now understand everything I was missing from my broken relationship. Sappy as it sounds, it makes me want to cry tears of joy because he's just so good. And I know I've idealized him a little bit because I'm an INFP and that's just what I do, but if things don't work out I will be forever grateful for his kindness. But I plan on making things work.
Oh, and then he started reminiscing about our first kiss the other night, which made me feel 100 times better about the whole thing because I felt so out of practice. And that's when things got a little flirty, but it was still completely innocent. There were no requests for nudes, no dirty banter. It was adorable, and I must admit I took pride in making him blush. It has now become my mission to do this whenever possible.
Have you ever heard of ASMR? I had not before he brought it up last night. Apparently, I've become one of his triggers. It's funny, because not everyone experiences ASMR. I'd never had a name for it before, which makes sense because the term was just coined in 2010, but it's something I experience all the time. With certain songs. When I see certain works of art. When I read something beautiful that touches me. And now when I think of Brian.
I need to stop. I'm in way over my head. I'm thinking of him too much, romaticizing things too much, hoping too much.
Oh, but it's been just grand. I can't wait to see where he takes me on Sunday. I don't care as long as I can practice kissing him some more.
scullerymaid at 10:42 a.m.