April 20, 2015
Grilled cheese, please
So my date with Brian is tonight and the more I think about it, the more nervous I get. We spent all week writing such long, detailed messages. Now that he has my number, I'm not really hearing anything from him. I'm not the biggest texter myself, so I'm not too worried about it. Maybe I just miss looking forward to reading his messages and now he's not sending them. I guess we need to save some of that chatter for tonight, huh?
I don't know how to do my hair or makeup or what to wear. Living with Sarah and dating TJ has made me feel rather dull looking. Though TJ appreciated the array of dresses I wear, he never really gave me compliments. And Sarah wears a lot of makeup and recently told me mine is very plain. Thanks for the boost of confidence. So yesterday I practiced doing it all fancy like, and though it was very pretty, I think it was just too much. I don't like getting into all that eye shadow stuff. Give me some blush and eyeliner and I'm good to go! I straightened my hair last night, but it seems the humidity today is against me. Whether it's straight or curly, I still don't know what to do with it. Wear it down? Wear it half up? Does it really matter? I just don't know if I want to look like my normal adorable self, or if I want to level up haha.
I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's not like I should have very high expectations of this date. I've dated often enough to know even the good ones don't seem to last for me. Remember the redhead? I was quite smitten with him. I suppose I'm worried about thinking the date is going really well, and it turns out he decides never to call me again. Also, he's not very flirtatious. That's okay because he's shy, but I'm not very good at reading mixed signals you know? And now I'm sounding all negative again.
I just want to go out and have a good time. I want to be my usual sweet self and not scare him away with all my reservations. Also, I hope I really like him. He's been so great on paper, I could fall out of my chair. I just hope if I really like him, the sentiment is returned. But I guess that's what everyone hopes when dating, isn't it? I just don't feel like dating I suppose. It'd be grand if I could score gold on the first round. Ugh, the idea of dating a bunch of people again makes me sick to my stomach.
Hopefully these nerves will die down in the next several hours.
scullerymaid at 10:38 a.m.