March 30, 2015
His better half?
A most unexpected thing happened last night. I was tucked in bed when TJ texted me to unlock my back door. What? Sure enough, I peeked through the blinds and there he was parking his car out back. So I crept down the stairs and unbolted the door and we made our way up to my room. I crawled back into bed, and watched as he stripped down to his boxers and climbed in next to me. How strange. TJ never spends the night with me. Even when he stays over late, he usually goes home. His place is just more comfortable. No roommates and all. It's quiet and private and I enjoy going over there as much as he prefers it himself. It was obvious he has been drinking. Under the covers, I could spell the vodka on his breath. I waited. He had something to say, but was hesitant. He's never been one to share his thoughts or feelings freely, which is why I always cherish these little moments together. Moments like this I wish would last forever. The two of us curled up in the dark, him opening up to me. I turned my back to him, so he wouldn't feel the pressure of my gaze.
He asked me how many times I've seen Top Gun. A handful of times I suppose. Enough to remember the gist of things at least. Well, he had been watching the movie with his brother, and when the part came where Goose dies, he said the whole time he had been thinking about me. How I would react to the scene. We all know how sentimental I am, and I'm fairly certain I did cry the first time I saw the movie. Listening to him describe how he imagined my reaction, I could see it myself. My shoulders would haunch forward and my eyes would begin to sting. My voice would grow high as I uttered my empathy for the characters. I would moan and whimper and aww then grab for his arm in an attempt to keep my emotions at bay. We both had a laugh at imagining the whole scenario. Then he told me he couldn't get it out of his mind. For the rest of the movie, he was picturing me next to him, reacting to the scenes.
Now, my dear friends, you can't imagine the force of shock that went through me after what he said next. He turned to me and said I had become his conscience, and that I was his better half.
Strange night indeed! He looked at me as his better half? He wasn't that drunk! Impossible. After all these years. After all our trials together. The ups and downs, the heartache. He tried to giggle it off, saying I'd never let him live that revelation down. I can't say he's wrong in that. For good measure, this morning I asked him if he remembered the conversation as we were getting ready for work. He did. And now we'll see what happens. Maybe nothing. Perhaps it doesn't mean anything at all. It could have been tipsy words shared in the dark. But it meant something to me. So eventually I'll have to talk about it. But in that moment, I kissed his cheek and let him wrap his arms around me as we drifted off to sleep.
scullerymaid at 11:07 a.m.