May 10, 2014
Coq au vin
I just want to get married and have babied and live on a farm just outside the city. Is that so much? Haha
Some of my friends are telling me to date. I really have no interest in dating. I'm sick of dating. But I guess you can't get married without dating. But really, my friends are so concerned with my dating life but with my sex life. When I told one that I didn't plan on going out on all these dates like I usually do after a break up, she asked if I planned on being celibate.
I guess that's a good question. Truth is half the reason to date these days is to get laid and though my intention has always been to find a good man and settled down, I'd be a liar if sometimes I didn't date for the simple pleasure of being pleasured. It's almost a guarantee in my experience, and it really isn't like me to agree to celibacy. But maybe I just might. Not be celibate necessarily, but refrain from sex if I plan on refraining from dating. Then a part of me would like to skip the dating aspect and go right to bed. Who knows what will happen. I don't much want to think about it. At the moment, I'm still technically sleeping with TJ but I suppose that's going to fizzle out soon. Or maybe we'll just keep dancing for another three years.
Sometimes I do wonder if any of it matters. I don't know a single person that's in a sincere relationship. It's all an act. I know every couple has its issues, but I don't think I know a single person in my current surroundings that is absolutely sincerely in love with their partner and that really breaks my heart. So that begs to question why bother dating? What good could come from it? Just the same ol same ol.
Or maybe I'm just still a little depressed from all these recent happenings.
Do you know what I really want to do? Get in shape. Janet and I have been going to the gym regularly for over a month and I feel like nothing is happening. I know a weight loss journey is not an overnight thing, but when we go to the gym we go hard. So you'd think my clothes would at least feel looser if numbers aren't changing on the scale. Guess the only thing to do is keep going. At least I have more endurance to show for all these nights at the gym. Once upon a time I hated the elliptical. Plain refused to get on one. Now I can go 45 minutes without issue 3-4 times a week. I really hope my efforts pay off. But I also realize I need to clean up my diet a bit. I know I don't eat nearly as much as I should be and though what I eat at home isn't too horrible, I tend to eat out a bit. At least, I did while TJ and I were "friends." Guess I'll have the opportunity to eat at home more often.
I kinda want to try my hand at coq au vin.
scullerymaid at 10:59 p.m.