February 07, 2014

Fight

I've never felt so pathetic. Tonight TJ and I got into a little spat. It was over something really stupid, but isn't always? But truly, it narrows down to the fact that Tj is my only friend. That's why I feel pathetic. If I'm feeling stir-crazy, there is absolutely no one else here I can call up to get dinner or watch a movie or run errands. I'm all alone, which not only pressures myself, but pressures him and then we have problems.

I wish I could just bring myself to leave. He is my only connection here and it's not that great of a connection, is it? Popeguy keeps telling me to move out West, but wouldn't I end up in the same situation? Alone. Friendless. Restless. Heartbroken.

How did I get here? People here are so cruel, so insincere. I miss having reliable friendships. I miss people. Here I get nothing but cool indifference or flaky plans.

I'm here for at least another year until my lease is up. If I don't go out west to grad school, I should at least go to Richmond. Wasn't that the plan? At least I have friends and family there.

scullerymaid at 10:41 p.m.

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